Bleached Shorts
by Kurohana Frost
Summary: Random humorous one shot chapters stemmed from "what if scenarios". Enjoy the Bleach characters at their worst. Be sure to check out High School Days, a continuing story of Ichigo's not so normal last year of High School feat. Grimmjow J. .
1. HS Days: How Grimmjow Became a Yankee

Bleached Shorts

High School Days

What if: Grimmjow became the Most Infamous Yankee in High School?

This question brought a picture to my mind, which then brought this short story. It's not very well written, but it offers very fun pictures to draw ^_^. Fangirls, feel free to drool at the thoughts I will put in your head. Ah…and I can see from here that it can develop into something more serious. Possibly a GrimmjowxTatsuki fanfic? . I haven't done a romance story in awhile. Alas, for now, enjoy the idiocy. I will post the pic I drew of Grimmjow (aka: Jack, the famous French exchange student/model) soon.

It all happened one peaceful day when Grimmjow, currently detained on earth, was offered a deal by Uruhara Kisuke.

"If you test out this gigai I made for Hollow, I might be able to convince the powers that be to let you return to Hueco Mundo," Kisuke coaxed.

Grimmjow had been forced to help rebuild the damaged parts of Karakura Town as punishment for serving Aizen, albeit unwillingly. To ensure that he'd cause as little trouble as possible, his powers had been limited much like a lieutenant or captain. This infuriated him more than the labor. He'd take any chance to get his strength back and fight Ichigo.

Kisuke could see that Grimmjow could be convinced. "Of course, it would be more than just trying it on. I'd need you to go to a school with a certain substitute shinigami to fully test it," the shady shopkeeper pressed as he hid his maniacal grin behind his fan.

"Fine! Give it to me," Grimmjow growled. He didn't like the idea of being as weak as a human, but if it was only for a short time…

After a few moments of struggle against the overpowering Tessai, Grimmjow was finally in the gigai specifically meant for arrancar. They also gave Grimmjow a manual on how to adapt to living like a human and a map to Ichigo's school. Finally, they dressed him in a unifrom tailored by Uryuu Ishida. Grimmjow struggled against the tie and tight shirt and shoes. Why did humans wear so many layers? The belt to the pants was also uncomfortable.

Kisuke snickered. No matter how they looked at it, Grimmjow looked like a yankee from the 80s. Uryuu had did a very nice job following his instructions. Little did Grimmjow know, Kisuke installed a camera into the gigai. He had already made a deal in Soul Society with the Women's Club.

They were running out of fresh ideas for fundraisers. The majority of the men in the Gotei 13 had already had picture books or calendars out. So, they decided to do a recording of Ichigo. At first, Rukia offered to do the recording, but they decided she wouldn't be able to get the best candid shots. Then, they thought of Renji, but he was a horrible actor. So, it fell on the one person who would hunt Ichigo to then end of the world. Poor Grimmjow. At least Uruhara would get a cut of all money raised.

_This is going to be interesting_, Kisuke laughed to himself as he, Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu followed with extra video cameras.

Between the stuffed train ride, the crowded streets, and the annoying man at the gates of the school, Grimmjow was thoroughly pissed. He had loosened his necktie a long time ago and it seemed this sweaty human didn't like his appearance.

"You a new student here? Well you're going to learn the rules real fast punk," Kagine, the phys-ed teacher shouted. "Tie that properly! Pull those pants up! Brush your hair back! What the hell is with that color anyway? You think you some kind of idol? Kids like you really piss me off you know that? I'll make you run 20—30 laps around the school if you look at me like that!"

Grimmjow glared at the man. He knew he was on some sort of probation but…what the hell. "Oi—shut the fuck up!" he snarled at the man and punched him square in the jaw.

Kagine was sent flying several yards before he landed, unconscious and with a broken jaw in a pathetic heap. Grimmjow spat on the man's body as he walked past. Just to spite the man, Grimmjow took off his jacket and draped it over his shoulders. Like he cared what stupid rules this human had?

Hunched over and possibly more pissed than he had been when usurped by Luppi, ok not that pissed, Grimmjow entered the school at a quarter to noon. Not far away, Kisuke was giddy with joy at the good shots he was getting already.

Grimmjow paused. Why the hell were their so many doors? He glanced at the map, but it only told him how to get to Ichigo's school, not which room he'd be in. He balled the thing up and tossed it aside. One girl was leaving a room marked 1-1 when she stopped and stared at Grimmjow's strange appearance.

"Hey woman. Tell me where the hell I can find Ichigo Kurosaki," he ordered.

Scared witless, the girl stammered for a moment. "I—I don't know…"

Grimmjow slammed her against a wall, "Don't fuck around with me woman! I know he's here somewhere. Spill it or I spill your guts."

The girl burst into tears. Grimmjow could hear people rushing to see the commotion. _Shit. If I get crowded by any more humans I'm gonna lose it._

He hurried up to a second flight of stairs. Here, all the rooms were marked with a two in front. He started catching on. If the girl on the first floor didn't know Ichigo, then perhaps someone on the second floor would know him.

He started with the first door. He threw it open and looked inside. The teacher, a little old man, stopped his lecture and gawked along with the rest of his classmates. Grimmjow didn't see Ichigo inside and turned away. He did the same thing for the next room. Still no Ichigo.

Grimmjow was never very patient. It was already almost noon. Grimmjow burst into the room marked 2-3. A brown haired woman looked up from her lecture and gaped much like the others had.

"Oi. Tell me where Ichigo is woman," Grimmjow said, his face the picture of irritation.

Several girls in the room, including the teacher, turned very red. The teacher pointed to an empty desk. "He said he's going to the bathroom. So he probably went home," Misato Ochi replied honestly.

No matter how she looked at this intruder, he couldn't possibly be a student. He looked too old to be a high schooler for one, and two, he didn't look like he could have passed the entrance exam to Karakura High. Man the Japanese school system must have really gone down hill.

Grimmjow's murderous light blue eyes scanned the room until they fell upon a familiar face. He jabbed his finger at Orihime, "You. Take me to him."

Orihime had been staring with disbelief the whole time. She stood and smiled to her teacher, "Teacher may I be excused?"

She didn't want Grimmjow to cause a commotion, which he surely would before simply taking her by force.

Shortly after they left, Ishida, Tatsuki, and Chad all stood at the same time and asked to be excused as well. Misato had long given up on her students and waved them away.

"Who the hell is that guy?" Tatsuki asked.

"A gangster Ichigo owes money to," Ishida lied easily. He and Chad knew Kisuke's plan, but he never suspected it'd get Orihime involved. Besides, Tatsuki would likely get her ass handed to her if she fought Grimmjow even in a gigai.

"Who do I owe money to?" Ichigo said from behind.

The group spun around in surprise. "Where were you?" Uryuu asked.

"Duuuh are you deaf? I went to the bathroom," Ichigo shot back. "Where are you guys going?"

Tatsuki landed a kick right to Ichigo's face. "Some yankee just took Orihime to search for you! This is your fault Ichigo so do something about it!"

"What?" Ichigo stared blankly at the girl while he held is sore face. "W-where did they go?"

"Your house," Chad replied simply.

"Fine I'll take care of it. You guys get back to class," Ichigo said and dashed down the hall. Tatsuki attempted to follow, but Uryuu held her back.

"It's alright now. We don't need to follow," he said as he adjusted his glasses. _You don't want to be on video anyway trust me…_

The lunch bell rang and, as it goes in high school, word spread like wild fire during. The first years were terrified and the second years intrigued. The third years came to hear from their friends about this new yankee student with blue hair that apparently punched out the gym teacher. Rumor said he was looking for Ichigo who some had saw race out of the school. While Grimmjow was making his way to Ichigo's house, he was gaining matchless notoriety.

It didn't take long to reach Ichigo's place. The people on the streets had stayed clear of them, or more accurately Grimmjow.

Orihime knocked on the door politely. Before anyone could answer, Grimmjow kicked the door in. It didn't seem like anyone was home. "Ichigo! Get your ass out here so I can kick it!"

"Damn you're dense. I'm right here stupid," Ichigo said from behind. He was out of breath from running to catch up.

"Had to chase you all the way from the school. Let Orihime go," Ichigo said.

Grimmjow pushed Orihime out of the way and charged to attack. The body was slow and much weaker, but Ichigo was also just a human right now. As much as he'd rather fight at full power, the limiter would have not only prevented him from doing so, but sent the full force of Soul Society on his neck.

"Let's finish what we started bastard," he shouted as he swung at Ichigo.

Ichigo blocked and avoided what he could, but Grimmjow found an opening and landed a solid punch to Ichigo's gut.

"Heh, even though I'm in human form, you're still slow," Grimmjow taunted.

"Even though I'm in human form, you're still weak," Ichigo shot back.

Orihime watched, reminiscing about the time those two tried to kill each other in Hueco Mundo. This fight seemed somewhat comical in comparison to that. At least they wouldn't be able to kill each other. They'd likely get tired before that happened. She went inside and prepared medicine and some refreshments. There was really no point in going back to class now, was there?

"Bastard, I was having perfect attendance for the first time this year until you had to come along," Ichigo said, breathing heavily. His head bled from a wound and his vision was getting blurry. How long had they been fighting?

"Who cares about that damned place? You're gonna be absent permanently after I kill you."

Orihime came out finally, "Ehem. Ichigo your dad and sisters will probably be home soon. Is anyone hungry?"

The two guys collapsed, exhausted and quite famished. Neither had eaten all day. Grimmjow was unaccustomed to feeling hunger and feeling particularly weakened. "Tch, fine we'll finish this later," he said as his stomach let forth an angry growl.

Kisuke called up Yachiru. "Yes, I've gotten some good shots Ms. Kusajishi. Our friend is making quite the ruckus in the human world, and you'll get some rare photos of Ichigo for the new picture book. Ah the title of the movie? I'm thinking about changing the name from Shinigami Drama School to Yankee Dramatic. Oh yes I think your female viewers will love this. Alright Ms. Kusajishi I'll send some samples over right away. Take care."

The samples were already of an exhausted Ichigo, a shirtless Grimmjow, an Ichigo in a tattered uniform, and some pictures that could easily be manipulated for fanservice. Then there were pictures of Ichigo with rice on his face, Grimmjow wolfing down some sweets, and for the shoujo fans, a three shot of Orihime trying to keep Grimmjow and Ichigo from attacking each other over the table as they fought over the last sausage.

Finally, night set in. This was the moment, Yachiru had been waiting for and Kisuke knew it. Ichigo's family had returned and with Isshin already beating on his son, Grimmjow had missed his opportunity. He was feeling tired anyway, and challenged Ichigo for tomorrow. As Grimmjow was on his way out, Kisuke pulled him aside.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh I was just checking up on you. Say, how about you stay the night at this place? I need to do some remodeling."

"What? Hell no! I'd rather sleep outside," Grimmjow said and turned away.

"Well well…I guess there's no helping it. I'll have to tell them you're unfit to ever return to Hueco Mundo."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?" Grimmjow turned to face the trickster, but Uruhara turned away nonchalantly with a shrug.

"Ah but you can keep that body. They'll probably want you limited even further if you're unreasonable. You'll never be able to leave the gigai without help from a shinigami."

"Damn you…you planned this you bastard," Grimmjow fumed. Kisuke ignored him.

"Just one night?" Grimmjow asked.

"Only one."

"One condition. You guarantee I get out of this thing, limiter free, tomorrow."

"Ah ah, I'll see what I can do. Oh, and when you go to sleep, can be sure not to lay on your stomach?" Kisuke said suspiciously and disappeared.

Well after leaving the house, Grimmjow was certainly not going to walk back in with his tail between his legs. He circled around to Ichigo's room. He could hear that Isshin had finally left him alone. Grimmjow climbed up to the window and broke his way in.

"What the hell? What are you doing here?" Ichigo exclaimed, jumping into a fighting position. He was getting tired of this.

"I need to stay here tonight so shut up and deal," Grimmjow said as he brushed glass shards off onto Ichigo's bed nearby.

"Like hell you are! I'll be damned if I spend another waking moment around you," Ichigo pointed out the window. "And you owe me a new window!"

Grimmjow ignored Ichigo's protest. "Where's your shower?"

"Hey I'm going to take mine first," Ichigo said. He was not about to bathe in Grimmjow's funky bath water. Getting in after his dad was bad enough.

_Ah yes, golden shots. _Kisuke and the gang were sitting on the rooftop with several kinds of monitors. The storeowner could see the money rolling in now. Just because he was an outcast, didn't mean he had to live like one.

"Camera 2 ready?" he whispered and Ginta nodded.

Yachiru was more than pleased with the latest updates. The women's' club webpage had already made thousands of hits. Everyone was clamoring to see more and more of the life of Ichigo. But Grimmjow supporters were also rising at a surprising rate. The candid photos of shower scenes, followed by Ichigo and Grimmjow scuffling while stilll in towels were the biggest hit since she got a picture of Byakushi sneezing. Kisuke wasn't the only one picturing money. With this, the Women's Association would be the most powerful organization in the Gotei 13.


	2. Say it Clearly Kenchan

Chapter 2: Say It Clearly

What would happen when Yachiru became a woman?

It had taken her awhile to figure it out, but Yachiru finally understood that there was absolutely no one she'd wish to spend her life with other than Ken-chan. He had known her for the majority of her life, named her, saved her, and given her a place to belong. Since then, they had never been apart for long. But after some time, Yachiru began to feel nervous around Ken-chan. Especially after realizing her feelings for him. It had to end. She had to tell him so things could go back to normal.

Zaraki had also been acting strange around Yachiru. He wouldn't let her ride on his shoulder anymore. He hardly ever came into physical contact with her. And, to her great irritation, he often referred to her as a child. His actions had no more meaning to him other than the realization that Yachiru was growing into a woman and he, as her father figure, needed to ensure that she turned out proper. Hanging around a bunch of sweaty men all day was not the best thing for a young woman, at least, that's what Kyoraku had said one day while they were enjoying a drink.

"She needs time to blossom, to come into her own," the slightly tipsy captain explained. "If you're around her too much, she'll get confused."

Kenpachi didn't know much about women, but he did know Yachiru. Although she was very perceptive, she easily misunderstood the things she perceived. So he decided to take a few steps back just as Kyoraku had advised. Bad idea.

It was this distance Kenpachi created that led Yachiru to realizing her feelings. Her so called "path to womanhood" led her straight into his arms, so to speak. There was only one woman Yachiru could think of that could give advice on men. Vice Captain Nemu.

In Yachiru's mind, Nemu and Mayuri had a relationship very similar to she and Ken-chan. They were both stoically loyal to their captains and would do anything for them. They also had feelings for their captains who created and named them, Nemu in a more literal sense than Yachiru.

"Nemu-chan," Yachiru leaned over the table and pouted when the two lieutenants had a moment alone. "How do you get Mayu to notice you as woman?"

If Nemu had been a normal human with normal emotions, she would have choked on the tea she sipped. Such was not the case. She simply gazed at the clear steaming liquid with her dark sleepy look.

"I don't think Mayuri-sama has ever not seen me as female," she said blankly.

"Well…that's true," Yachiru mused. "But I mean more than just that. I mean..." she leaned in closely and whispered conspiratorially.

"Oh that. Mayuri-sama gave me life, so I would do anything he asked. Whenever he calls me to his room I *xoxo* and *this and that* then we *bleep*." She sipped her tea calmly as she explained with no expression.

Yachiru's eyes widened and she felt heat rise to her face. Is that what love was like? Very well. As long as it got Ken-chan to accept her as a woman.

"But Yachiru-san, why are you interested?"

Yachiru shook her head. "Oh nothing. I just wanted to know." She chuckled and skipped off.

If there was one thing she clearly understood from Nemu was that a woman had to look appealing. Yachiru never really thought about her appearance, but when she compared it to Nemu, she did seem rather childish. The best person to consult to look like a woman, only one came to mind.

"Jiggles!" Yachiru called to Rangiku. Just her luck. The 10th squad's vice captain was skipping duties again. That meant she had all day.

"Oh Yachiru-chan. What can I do for you?" the busty Matsumoto approached.

Yachiru stared with a tinge of admiration. She glanced her own chest. It had developed quite a bit, but was still nowhere near as full as Rangiku's.

Rangiku followed the young girl's gaze and understood immediately. "Oh Yachiru-chan!" she embraced her in a full bosom hug. "I knew this day would come! I'm so happy! Let's go shopping. We're going to have so much fun just like sisters!"

Rangiku explained as they raided every clothing department on the west side of Rukongai. "First you'll need to show as much cleavage as possible if you want to attract a man. You're still growing, but you're coming along nicely. Then it's always good to show some leg too. Oh and your hair should have a more mature look as well. Now we'll add some makeup. Nothing says 'I'm a woman' like long lashes and red lips."

Before the day was out, Yachiru hardly recognized herself. She was indeed sexy, she thought as she posed in the mirror. "Ah Jiggles, thank you so much," she hugged the vice captain.

"No problem at all. I'm always happy to help a young girl in love. So, who's the lucky guy?"

"Hm? Oh no one really…I was just curious."

She hummed and skipped away, leaving Rangiku to stare after her in confusion.

Night fell and Yachiru approached Kenpachi's room like she always did to say good night. He would have just finished his shower by now and would be preparing to for bed.

"Um…Ken-chan?" Yachiru called from the other side of the door.

"Hm? Come in," she heard his deep reply.

She slid his door aside. Zaraki lay with his back to the door in his sleepwear, his head propped on one elbow. His hair hung damp and loose from his shower. Yachiru was always amazed at how different he looked when his hair was down. Even though when she had first met him it was the same. She liked it down, but when it was up it was always funny. It also made him look more ferocious. Down he was…

Yachiru blushed.

"What is it Yachiru?" Zaraki looked over his shoulder to see his uncharacteristically silent lieutenant.

Not event the dim light in the room could hide her change in appearance. Kenpachi fell off his elbow in shock. Yachiru wore a pale rose colored yukata Rangiku had chose just for her, with a deep purple obi tied in the front. Her bobbed hair hung in loose curls around are oval face. But what was perhaps more unsettling was how her yukata hung open, generously revealing her gently sloped shoulders and smooth legs.

"Where are you doing dressed like that?" Kenpachi tried to keep his voice level. Was this what Kyoraku had meant? Her path to womanhood?

"Do you think I look good Ken-chan?" she chuckled as she turned around so he could get a better look.

"Un…" he grunted. "Well…I mean…if that's what you like then…"

Yachiru beamed. Now was her chance. "Ken-chan. I—there's something I want to tell you," she inched closer.

Kenpachi blinked. Still oblivious. Had he any inkling of how Kyoraku would have reacted in this situation he would have promptly turned the girl around and locked her out.

When he didn't reply, Yachiru drew even nearer. "Ken-chan I—I want you to see me as a woman now."

"Huh? Yeah I see you," Zaraki scratched his head not quite understanding her meaning. "But you didn't have to do all this if that was the problem."

Yachiru's eyes widened. "No? Ken-chan likes me the other way better?"

"Well, it's whatever you prefer I guess. I'm just sayin' don't outdo yourself just to prove something."

Yachiru nodded. Even though they were this close, she could still feel the distance between them. Time for Nemu's advice.

She leaned in close to Zaraki who instinctively scooted back.

"Yachiru what are you doing?"

"Ken-chan. I want to thank you for everything," she said, her voice much quieter than before.

"Oh? What did I do?" he asked suspiciously not sure where this was going.

"You saved me Ken-chan. In more ways than one. I can't save you but…I can at least do this," she was almost mumbling now and her body pressed dangerously close.

"Hold on!" Zaraki stood and took the girl by the shoulders. "You don't have to do anything."

Yachiru looked up innocently. "Does Ken-chan want to start?"

"What? No you idiot," he could feel heat rising to his face. He didn't know whether to be angry, embarrassed, or flattered. But he did know that this was going somewhere bad very fast. His brain may have taken awhile to put her words together, but his body didn't.

"Look, Yachiru," he breathed hard trying to calm himself. "You are a woman now. That's all the more reason you shouldn't be doing strange things like this."

Yachiru frowned. "I don't understand. This is what women do isn't it?"

Kenpachi shook his head furiously, still holding her away with great distance. "Not out of obligation or anything. You're better than that. You have to find someone you care about more than anything."

Yachiru softened. "Then that's easy enough Ken-chan. I love you," she said with a gentle smile.

Shit. "Damn it Yachiru that's not what I mean either," he let her go rubbed his temples. This was harder to do than he feared. He was a man that could take control of any battle, but when it came to something like this, Yachiru kept him on the defensive.

"There's different kinds of love ok. You and I…we're not like _that_," he tried to explain. "We're more like a family, at least that's how I always felt. That's why I've put some distance between us. I didn't want you getting confused. I wanted you to have your space."

She blinked. Her face cooled to an unreadable expression. "Oh. I see…" her voice was expressionless. She turned away and left.

Just as she closed the door, she muttered in a cold tone, "Goodnight Zaraki-san."

Kenpachi stared after her. She only called him that once before when he made her stop eating candy because of a cavity. She had been really pissed then too. It had taken him days to make her even look at him again after that. He knew this was going to be a much bigger deal than a sweet tooth.

Zaraki couldn't sleep that night. Nor could he nap in the afternoon as usual. Yachiru was nowhere to be found and, for the moment, he didn't mind. He needed some time to think. He could ask Kyoraku, but that man wasn't much good with women after all. He needed a woman's advice, but who did he know that he could trust not to blab to Yachiru?

Zaraki sat outside is room under the shade fanning himself. He gazed at the grass as it swayed gently in the light summer breeze. The sound of footsteps caused him to look up.

"Captain, you're troubled," Yumichika said bluntly.

Kenpachi stared at the 5th seat for a started moment. "That easy to tell huh?"

"Well you didn't eat today, you didn't try to jump in on Ikkaku's fight, you haven't taken your afternoon nap, and now you're staring at the grass like you want to write a haiku," Yumichika listed all of Zaraki's uncharacteristic actions.

Zaraki did not deny it.

"Does it have something to do with Yachiru?"

Bingo again.

"What makes you think that?" Kenpachi inquired.

"Well…whenever you're troubled—which is extremely rare—Yachiru is always by your side. However, no one as seen her all day." He flipped his hair back over an ear.

As Zaraki looked at the effeminate man he realized something.

"Yumichika. You're like a girl," he began.

The fifth seat's eyes widened with hurt. "If you're trying to say I'm pretty like a girl you forgot to say pretty."

Zaraki ignored the brainless comment. "If you had feelings for someone you were close to, what would you do if you found they didn't share those feelings?"

Yumichika wondered where this could be going. "Well…I wouldn't really worry about it. If the person is like a mentor to me, I guess if I was close to them, I'd always want to be. And I'd support them no matter what they felt."

Kenpachi nodded. "And what if things got awkward or something? How would you want that person to make it up to you?"

Yumichika blinked, his feathered eyelashes made a slow arc. "Before you go any further Captain, I just want to say I'm flattered, but I have no intention of pursuing anything more than a platonic relationship with you."

Zaraki blanched. "What? What the hell is wrong with you? Where'd you get that kind of meaning?"

"Oh that's not what you meant? You have to be more clear when you speak then," Yumichika countered. "When it comes to stuff like this, it's easy for people to get confused."

Oh. I see. Kenpachi thought as another epiphany hit him.

"So it's ok for everything to be the way it is? Just being a part of this squad with you people is enough huh? Like a family?"

Yumichika grinned slyly and nodded. "Yeah. It's enough for me. I think Yachiru would feel the same way if you said it like that."

"Yumichika…" Zaraki sighed. This guy was sneaky and weird, but he had a few good qualities too. "Thanks."

"No problem Captain. But you owe me. Next time Ikkaku or Yachiru slack off, I don't want to be assigned their chores. We have a fourth seat you know."

"Oh? Do we? Who is it?"


	3. HS Days 2: Karakura's No 1 Yankee

"Oi…Oi!" Ichigo whispered harshly and threw a pillow at Grimmjow's face.

Grimmjow jerked awake. First he was confused, then angry. "What the hell was that for," he growled, and clenched the soft projectile ready to kill Ichigo with it in any way possible.

"You snore too loud. Shut the hell up," Ichigo growled back.

"Perhaps I wouldn't have to snore so loud if you didn't shout things in your sleep," Grimmjow argued.

"Just because my dad made up some lame excuse so you could stay here, doesn't mean it gives you the right to be annoying. You're a 'guest' so be considerate like one."

The door to Ichigo's closet slid open. "Will both of you shut up? Don't you have a test tomorrow?" Rukia said sharply from the darkness. Even though they couldn't see her clearly, they could feel her eyes glaring.

"Why are you here anyway? If you can't sleep…go somewhere else," Grimmjow yawned and returned to his sleeping bag.

"Tch…Unlike some people, I'm not freeloading off another's kindness. I have special privileges to be here," Rukia humped.

Ichigo choked. "What? Not freeloading? What special privileges? You always invite yourself in here and then ignore me whenever I tell you to leave."

"Goodnight Ichigo," Rukia shut the door, clearly ignoring him.

It had been over a month since Grimmjow entered Karakura High. Unbeknownst to him, the cameras were still rolling. Yankee to Yankee, as the show was called, had become a huge overnight success. Reality TV wasn't a new thing in the human world, but it was just beginning to pick up in Soul Society. Already, several producers wanted to buy rights to the SWA's brain child. Others were making their own attempts. But Yankee to Yankee was the only one with a Substitute Shinigami and a former Espada sharing a small room at a parent's house. The invisible cameras caught every aspect of their lives. If either Ichigo or Grimmjow found out…Kisuke didn't want to think of the damages it'd cause…both to his shop and his own person.

"Pen's down. Send your tests up front."

"Shit…" Grimmjow muttered under his breath. He still hadn't made it to the last page.

"I said pens down Grinchow-san," Misato crossed her arms. She was not a teacher to be trifled with.

Grimmjow had been able to enter the school under the unwanted alias of Jacques Grinchow, Ichigo's estranged second cousin. According to his file, he is the son of a wealthy Frenchman who's entire family died in a yachting accident. The great shock it caused him explains his lack of any French, at least that was how Kisuke (pretending to be another estranged uncle) explained it. Either way, it was enough to make Grimmjow sick, but he was amazed at how quickly humans will agree to do something if you give them enough money. Including, overlooking their new student's poor grades and thirst for violence.

He had spent much of his time daydreaming how to escape, both High School, this gigai Kisuke trapped him in, and the threat of being turned over to Soul Society as an experiment…he had forgot about the test completely.

Grumbling, he turned the test up. The student in front of him looked reluctant to take it. As if by doing so, he'd be turning a contract for his soul over to the devil. The Blue Devil…that's what the other toughs around the school nicknamed him. At first, they called him Rich Boy, but after a few "talks" fist to face, they found that new nickname to be less painful to utter through their broken teeth.

The fights had put him in detention every day of the week. A guidance counselor had been suggested, but the man suddenly took extended leave. Was it Kisuke's doing? Or did the man not wish to psychoanalyze a guy that wouldn't hesitate to put his knee into a teacher's nose?

Lunch break began. Good. He could finally get away from these losers. Besides, some jerk from another school got word of Karakura's new yankee and wanted to fight him. Grimmjow would have refused, but the man made an unforgiveable challenge.

"So what if I can't beat Ichigo. I'll take you down and be second best," he said.

Just thinking about it got his blood boiling. He stood in an ally behind the school and checked his watch. He'd be late for class if this guy took any longer.

Finally, he heard footsteps. "Good. Thought you'd chicken out. I was going to take my time, but you're late so now I gotta speed things up."

"Well Jack-san," Tatsuki appeared around the corner. Her arms were crossed. "If you spent half the time focusing on your studies that you do fighting, you'd finish your tests on time."

"Screw that. It's not like I need to know this crap. Now outta the way woman. I'm waiting on someone's ass to kick."

"You mean this guy?" Tatsuki dragged a guy out from behind. He had several bruises and his face was swollen to barely recognizable.

"I don't like people from different schools snooping around here," she commented and dropped the guy back to the ground.

"That was my prey woman! Mind your own damn business for once," he clenched his fists and glared.

"Whoops…Well I guess you'll have to fight me to make up for that," Tatsuki got in a fighting stance. She was not about to back down. This guy was another suspicious character. Whatever history he had with Ichigo didn't matter. People like him neede to be taught a lesson. Besides, Tatsuki still hadn't forgiven him for threatening Orihime a few weeks ago.

"I'll make you apologize for your sins," she said through grit teeth.

"Oh? The woman wants to fight? I don't go easy on women, just to let you know."

Tatsuki smirked nastily, "Neither do I."

On the rooftop where Ichigo usually enjoyed his lunch in the company of friends, he happened to look down when Tatsuki confronted Grimmjow.

_Shit…this isn't good._

Tatsuki could hold her own in any fight against a human, but Grimmjow was on a whole different level. Even in that body, Ichigo thought he was too dangerous an opponent. Tatsuki fought by rules and regulations. That ex-Espada was still an arrancar. He wouldn't hesitate to kill, let alone hit below the belt.

"Excuse me," he said hastily and hurried down to intervene.

"Come on woman. Let's see you make the first move if you're not scared," Grimmjow taunted.

Tatsuki didn't let it disturb her. But he was leaving so many openings. It was a lure, of course, but if she didn't move he might try to wait her out. She was the class president. She couldn't be late. Perhaps he planned to exploit that.

"Thinking too much? Fine, I'll go," Grimmjow moved in fast. Excruciatingly slow for him, but far above average speed for a human. His fist went straight for her stomach. Tatsuki back flipped out of the way, narrowly avoiding the strike.

She didn't end her move there. Trying to catch him off balance, she maintained a crouched position and swooped her leg under his feet. Grimmjow jumped, avoiding the low kick with ease, and added one of his own spinning kicks in the mix before Tatsuki could recover.

Tatsuki couldn't dodge in time. She brought her arms in front of her face and blocked the kick. She had planned to grapple the leg and take him down, but the speed and force sent her sprawling backwards.

"Had enough already?" Grimmjow taunted once more. He hadn't broken a sweat.

"Tch. I'm just getting warmed up you punk," she spat back.

Wasting no time, Tatsuki attacked with a volley of punches. Grimmjow blocked them all with a combination of hands and arms.

_That's it keep him on the defensive. Make his mind lose focus on your legs. Wait for the opening…Wait for it…There!_

Tatsuki led Grimmjow's blocks to open his solar plexus. _I'll end this in one kick._

She brought her knee up inside his defenses planting a solid blow in the soft defenseless tissue.

Grimmjow gasped quick and grabbed at his stomach. Before he could catch his breath, Tatsuki went for another kick to his mid-section. Still doubled over, he grappled her foot with his free hand and looked up with a maddening grin.

"That was harder than I expected. Guess this damn body still needs more conditioning," he said.

_What? He's saying he let me hit him?_

"Bullshit," Tatsuki spun to break free of the hold and kick him with her other leg.

Grimmjow crouched low and dodged.

"If you're going to land so many high kicks in a short skirt, have the courtesy to not where panties. It'll at least give me some entertainment," he said in a bored tone.

Tatsuki turned bright red. This fight had gone from a matter of principle to one of personal grudges.

_I'll kill him_, she decided as she boiled with hot rage. _Pigs like him deserve to die!_

"One question," Grimmjow said. He was quickly losing interest in fighting her if this was the best she could do. "What do you have against me?"

Tatsuki glared. "It's because you're a delinquent. You need to learn your place and stop disrupting the peace in this school. That, and the fact that I don't trust you. First you're a gangster, now you're Ichigo's cousin from France? I'm not buying it. I don't care who you really are, but if you're going to cause trouble for Ichigo, I'm not going to allow it."

Grimmjow sneered. "Oh I see. So you still have some fighting spirit then? You really think you can stop me? You're the one that needs to learn your place."

"Enough," Ichigo appeared behind Grimmjow. "If you're aching for a fight again, I'll be your opponent. But not here and now."

Grimmjow glanced over his shoulder at Ichigo. They had several bouts already, each one interrupted as soon as Grimmjow felt he had a handle on the gigai. "Fine. This time, no interruptions. I'll kill anyone who tries, got it?"

The bell rang before Ichigo could reply. Tatsuki, who hadn't dropped her offensive stance, relaxed and picked up her bag. She pushed past Grimmjow and tapped Ichigo on his shoulder with her palm. "I hope you know what you're doing," she muttered.

Long after school let out, Grimmjow sat in the park waiting. The sun had fallen just beyond the horizon and the last patrons had dashed home to warm homes and hot dinners. Grimmjow realized he hadn't eaten since breakfast. He had yet to get use to the body's need for food three times a day. The hot dog vendor had just left as well. Not like Grimmjow had money on him, but he could have threatened some food out of the hunched over old man.

Ichigo arrived carrying a bag. "You're too troublesome you know that," he said nonchalantly setting the bag on the bench next to his opponent. He reached in and pulled out two rolled sandwiches.

"Thanks to you, I had to miss Yuzu's special stew night. She's gonna be pissed in the morning," he said as he tossed a sandwich to Grimmjow and bit into his own ruefully.

Grimmjow looked at the food with suspicion. "What the hell are you doing?"

Ichigo sat on the bench. "What? I'm eating. You probably haven't eaten since breakfast. I'm not going to fight you while you're starving. That way, when I beat you, you can't give some lame excuse about being too hungry."

"Tch," Grimmjow snatched up the sandwich and devoured it. "Don't expect a thank you," he said with a mouthful of bread.

Ichigo replied likewise, "I wouldn't expect anything like manners from someone like you."

"Finished?"

"Yeah."

Before Ichigo could toss the wrapper back in the bag, Grimmjow swung at him. His knuckle grazed Ichigo's cheek as the orange-haired boy narrowly dodged. It left a small cut.

_Hmph…He's gotten faster, _Ichigo thought as he wiped the blood away. _No…he's testing my own speed right now. _

Grimmjow wasted no time. He closed in on Ichigo, keeping his opponent on the defensive and pushing him back.

_His punches and kicks are more powerful too…_

"What's wrong Ichigo? You haven't lost your nerve, have you?" Grimmjow said through grit teeth.

Only the lamps in the park lit up their arena. A cool white glow landed over Ichigo's face illuminating that infuriating expression; the eyes that said with unwavering confidence, "I can defeat him."

Ichigo didn't respond. He knew his silence would only provoke Grimmjow.

_Here it comes._

Grimmjow went for a false opening. Ichigo grabbed him by the wrist and tossed him. It wasn't enough to keep the ex-Espada off balance. Grimmjow recovered with a flip, his shoes slid back across the damp grass.

Ichigo could feel his opponent's fury. He could almost see Grimmjow's murderous aura. Wait…no…he _was_ seeing something. Reiatsu. It was beginning to leak through the gigai.

_Damn, if he breaks free it will alert all kinds of hollow and shinigami._ Not to mention park damages. _I'll have to end this quick._

Ichigo switched to the offensive, but Grimmjow was not going to stay on the defensive. They exchanged blow for blow. Ichigo could feel Grimmjow's Hollow power rising just beneath that false body. So focused on his opponent, he probably didn't realize that he was breaking it.

_Sigh…Here I thought he'd last a little longer. My my, guess I have no choice,_ Urahara thought to himself. Perched on a street lamp a little ways off, he observed the two fighting. It was a good fight, but he couldn't let Grimmjow break free of that gigai. Otherwise all bets were off.

Kisuke raised a jade carved whistle to his lips and blew a silent note. Only low level Hollow could hear the frequency. Like dogs, they'd flock to the smell of those two's spirit energy. If he gave them something else to focus on, Grimmjow would at least calm down. Then, Kisuke would have to patch that gigai before the leaks got worse.

_Sorry Grimmjow. You were almost free._

Ichigo sensed something coming. His spirit phone began to beep shortly after. Losing his focus on Grimmjow, he received a solid punch in the face.

"Ow. Wait. Hang on. Something's not right," Ichigo said rubbing his bruised jaw. It was swelling fast.

"No distractions. Remember what I said," Grimmjow pressed his attack.

"Dammit Grimmjow. Listen to me," Ichigo switched to defense and dodging. "There's Hollow coming can't you sense them? Your leaking reiatsu must have alerted them."

"So what? I'll kill them and you." He wasn't paying attention.

"Put two and two together idiot. You want every Shinigami in the district on your most-wanted ass?" Ichigo explained blocking a kick to the gut. The power behind the attack felt like it had shattered his arm.

_Shit…_Ichigo winced in pain.

Grimmjow froze. He hadn't thought of that. "Damn it," he stopped and looked around. Yeah, he could feel them. Twenty small fry. But when that many were coming, they'd attract one or two bigger Hollow…and where there were bigger Hollow, there was always a shinigami behind them. He couldn't take them all on in this body.

"Ten for me, ten for you," Ichigo said.

"Not if I take fifteen first," Grimmjow retorted.

"Fine. Whoever kills more Hollow won the fight."

Ichigo grabbed his badge from his bag.

"What the hell? That's not fair!" Grimmjow argued.

Ichigo made a face. "I'm a Shinigami. What's not fair about me killing Hollows in this form? If you got a problem with it, beat me."

"I kicked your ass before, I'll do it again," Grimmjow said. He took out the first Hollow that appeared. Why are the weakest always the first to show?

The others came, surrounding the two men. No choice. They had to fight back to back in this opening or they'd be overpowered.

The fight took about ten minutes with only the Hollows suffering heavy damage. In his current form, Ichigo wasn't phased by the fight, but Grimmjow was breathing heavily. "Hah, that's eleven for me," Grimmjow said.

"Who are you kidding? You only had nine," Ichigo argued.

"I must have punched you pretty hard in the head Ichigo. You forgot how to count," Grimmjow wiped the blood from his hands onto his pants. It wasn't his.

In fact, in the heat of battle, they had both lost count. Two hollow had escaped, only to be dealt with a short distance away by Kisuke.

The green-robed vagrant stood under the street light clapping. "Not bad boys. Not bad."

Fast than Grimmjow could follow, Kisuke was in front of him. He ran his fist deep into Grimmjow's stomach. The arrancar coughed and dropped to his knees unconscious.

"Urahara-san? W-what are you doing?" Ichigo stammered in surprise. He felt no pity for Grimmjow receiving that surprise attack.

"Don't mind me Kurosaki-kun. We're just going to a commercial break," Kisuke smiled cryptically has he hoisted Grimmjow onto his shoulders and carried him back for repair.


	4. HS Days 2: VDay

High School Days (3) – Valentine's Day

Grimmjow was eating at his table…with his family…No matter how many times he saw it, the fact made Ichigo's insides squirm. At least he was able to keep his food down this time. And, at least Grimmjow stopped trying to stab him with a knife.

"Seconds woman," Grimmjow pushed his plate to Yuzu.

"My already? You eat very fast Jack-san," she chuckled, already filling his plate.

"Oi, I don't care if you're a cousin or a pet, talk more politely to people showing you hospitality," Karin shot as she settled Ichigo back in his chair. He was about to reach over and strangle the man.

"Ah isn't it nice to have a big breakfast with family," Isshin commented. He had taken Kisuke's bribe. Ten percent of Yankee to Yankee's earnings would go to him for site location, plus any additional fees accrued due to damages would be paid for by the SWA. At first Isshin refused. Housing an ex-Espada, even one as disobedient to Aizen as the 6th, was putting his family in danger. But Kisuke showed him just how much 10% was and assured him that, while trapped in that gigai, Grimmjow could do little more harm than Ichigo in human form. That still meant there'd be quite a bit of damage, but they'd be relatively safe.

"Shut up. No one asked you old man," Ichigo, Karin, and Grimmjow said in perfect synchronization.

_My nephew…I wish I had a nicer one…_Isshin sulked.

The only one who didn't seem to mind his presence was Yuzu. He gave her more work to do like more cooking and more cleaning, yet that fact made her happy. The bigger the family, the better, she had commented one night when Karin asked her why she puts up with their cousin's rudeness.

"Besides…he's not closely related. He's our second cousin, and he's all alone," she whispered. Her sad tone filled the dark space between their beds.

Karin didn't believe a word of her father's explanation, that Jaque Grinchaw was a distant relative who lost his memory of his home in France. It likely had something to do with Ichigo. She had said nothing at the time and decided to observe, but this was starting to get ridiculously obvious. This stranger didn't lose his memory, he probably never even heard of France.

"I'm off," Ichigo rose from the table, anxious to get away. Unfortunately, he had to take his "cousin" with him. At least he'd be rid of one moron, his dad.

_After school's out…I gotta start looking for an apartment…_

Grimmjow walked on the other side of the street. It was bad enough he had to live with his enemy and eat with him. He didn't want to walk next to him too. But why was he doing all this? Why bother going to school now? Couldn't he just fight Ichigo and let Soul Society capture him? Anything would be better than this current prison.

_At least the food is good…_Souls didn't have much taste. Sure they made a Hollow feel better, but so did human food. And that brown haired chick in Ichigo's house, Yuzu was it?, her food was damn good.

Grimmjow couldn't resist the opportunity to antagonize Ichigo. "Your sister, the normal one, I wonder why she gives me more than you."

"It's your imagination _Jack-san_," Ichigo felt his irritation rise. He calmed quickly and replied with a cool stare, "She's not giving you more. She's giving you the fatty leftovers. Pet's are always happy with table scraps."

Grimmjow glared back across the street. A car drove between them and the driver shivered.

"Oh? I suppose you'd know wouldn't you? You looked like you'd lick her hand any second the night before when she gave you one of those brown things. Perhaps my presence was interrupting something?"

Ichigo was about to give another hot reply when he remembered. He stopped dead in his tracks. _Shit. That's right…_

Grimmjow misunderstood the frozen stare. "Damn that's sick…you got a thing for your sister? Even Hollows don't—"

Ichigo shook himself out of his state, "Not that idiot. It's Valentine's Day."

Grimmjow stared blankly, "I thought it was Monday."

Ichigo didn't bother explaining. He raced to school. He had to get there extra early this time or else he'd be late. Last year, thanks to Kon, girls trying to give him chocolates before and after school bombarded Ichigo. He had to sneak around most of the day. They were even waiting for him during lunchtime on the roof of the school. Only his classmates had any sense. If he could get there before the majority of the student body, he'd be safe.

"Tch…" Grimmjow scoffed and kept his pace. He didn't want to show up to school next to that loser anyway.

When Grimmjow arrived, there were a bunch a girls clamoring outside the school. They were all holding decorative packages. Some passed them to a guy, others looked frantically for whoever the chocolates were for.

"What the hell is going on…" Grimmjow muttered. When he neared the gates, the girls got out of his way.

They stared and whispered. Some pointed. He ignored them. If he let them irritate him, he couldn't guarantee he'd keep his cover.

"Um…Grinchaw-san?" a sophomore girl appeared in front of him. Her friend had pushed her out into his path.

She was shaking as she held out a small heart shaped box to him. Grimmjow paused and watched her curiously. With her eyes fixed on her toes she said, "W-would you p-please accept this?"

The girls around them that had been whispering fell to a weighted hush. Their stares bore into the back of his neck. What the hell was all this about? Some kind of dare to approach the Blue Devil?

"Fine. Whatever," he mumbled and took the box.

"Ehhhhh?" The girls' cries rose around him. Someone cheered, "Way to go Kanoko-chan!"

Kanoko, shocked, looked up at him with tear filled eyes. Jeez was she really that afraid of him? She was just giving him one of those brown things like Yuzu had made.

Grimmjow popped the chocolate in his mouth and savored it. "Hmm, this is pretty good. You got any more?"

He circled around her trying to see if she had another box hidden somewhere. "Ah…n-no but I'd be happy to make you some everyday!"

Grimmjow nodded. "You better."

The crowd of girls squealed. Suddenly Grimmjow sensed danger. "Please try mine Grinchaw-sama! No, mine next!"

They pressed in on him, pushing boxes at him and into his face. "What the-? Get away! Stop pushing me!"

The bell rang and as soon as it had appeared, the crowded dissolved. Saved.

_Damn women…because of them I'm gonna be late._

The disheveled Grimmjow entered the classroom just as the teacher was finishing role-call.

"Late again. You're on cleaning duty for a week," she said without looking up.

"Oi it's not my fault. Look at all these stains. Those crazy women outside were stuffing it in my face," he growled. His chair screeched across the floor as he whipped it out and sat down hard.

"If you arrived early like your cousin, then you wouldn't have had to worry about the Valentine's Day Gauntlet," the teacher commented with a tone that said "no excuses."

Ichigo leered over his shoulder at Grimmjow. "Not everyone can be responsible I suppose," he whispered.

"Fuck you. You didn't even warn me," Grimmjow was smoldering with rage.

"Shut up both of you. Everyone, get out your text books," Misato sighed.

*During lunch period*

Ichigo, Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro stayed in the class to eat their lunches.

Keigo Asano wept piteously. "For real? He got a ton of chocolates too? Why every year am I forgotten? Is there no girl in this school that see's my hidden charms?"

Mizuiro ate his lunch serenely. Several freshmen girls had offered him homemade chocolates, but he turned them down saying there was already someone he liked. A lie of course. He didn't like anyone in particular. He just happened to like older women. "They don't see what isn't there," he said.

"The way you put that…it was meant to be hurtful wasn't it?" Asano cried.

"Ichigo, isn't it noisy in here?" Mizuiro ignored Keigo's question. "Why aren't you on the rooftop."

"You remember what happened last year. I don't want to be bothered."

"Oh yeah…so…you didn't warn your cousin to not go up there did you?" Keigo had already forgotten his heartache.

"Nah…this will be educational for him," Ichigo sighed and leaned back in his seat. He had to admit, he was enjoying Grimmjow's suffering.

"Jeez you got some weird cousins…Can't be surprised though. You're dad's pretty weird too huh?" Keigo chuckled.

Orihime, Tatsuki, and Ishida approached the four. Ishida had several chocolates on hand. Being the president of the student council had it's perks.

"Here," he dropped the candies between the four chocolate-less guys. "I don't really care for chocolate, but it'd be troublesome if I refused."

"You know…the way you're showing your generosity makes me not want them," Ichigo said testily.

"Then you don't need to eat them," Ishida replied coolly.

"Orihime-chan, Tatsuki-chan, don't you two have guys you want to give chocolates to? It's our last year as high school students after all," Mizuiro asked innocently.

Orihime blushed bright red while Tatsuki chuckled. "This girl tried making chocolates for everyone but they burned. Besides, she couldn't carry them all to school."

"Tatsuki-chan! You weren't suppose to say that!" Orihime cried.

"It's okay Orihime. I appreciate the thought," Ichigo chuckled. Orihime's face turned as bright as her hair.

"I'll treat everyone to chocolate shakes after school at my old job. The boss gives me good discounts," she said, hoping the offer wouldn't be taken as too foreword.

"Damn you Ichigo. I got caught by your stalkers," Grimmjow kicked the door open with his foot while he shouted. There were even more chocolate stains on him than before.

"Stop kicking the door like that. You're leaving footprints. If you break it you'll be the one who has to fix it," Tatsuki replied.

Grimmjow sat on the window seal, taking one of the community chocolates along the way.

"Jack-san…you didn't eat all the chocolates they gave you, did you?" Mizuiro said with a worried tone after everyone stared in silence.

"Eh? Who are you? So what if I did? It'd be wrong for them to go to waste right?"

Everyone blanched. Ichigo burst out laughing. "Seriously? You did?"

Ishida pushed up his glasses, "I'd hate to be you a month from now."

Even Tatsuki and Orihime were looking at him piteously. The only who could compose himself long enough to explain was Chad.

"White Day. You have to give all those girls something white next month," he said.

"Eh? Like hell I will. I don't even remember who they were. I could hardly see them they way they bum rushed me."

Orihime replied, "I understand not wanting the chocolates to go to waste, but it's even worse to accept them without understanding the person's feelings. If you don't offer them something during White Day, after all that care they put into those chocolates, and all the anticipation and anxiety they will carry for a month…it'd be too cruel."

"She's right Grinchaw," Tatsuki smirked. "You'd be labeled the worse guy in the school. You'll be shunned by every girl and mocked by every guy."

"It's because you're greedy that you suffer," Ichigo said between breaths.

"Tch…so? Like I care what other people think of me," Grimmjow growled.

"There is one way out of it," Mizuiro, who was the most knowledgeable in ways to let a woman down easy, explained. "If you give something white to just one girl and declare your love for her, the others will understand and leave you alone."

Ichigo could hardly breathe at this point. "What? Him? Declare love? Oh that's a good one. I'd like to see that!"

"Ichigo! This is partially your fault for not warning him about Valentine's Day," Tatsuki crossed her arms and glared. "Are you going to be an accomplice in breaking so many girl's hearts? If so, you're just as bad as he is."

Both Grimmjow and Ichigo stood. "Don't drop me to the same level as that guy!"

"Fine. It's settled. Ichigo, you're going to help Grinchaw get a date before White Day. It'll be very troublesome for the Student Council if our foreign exchange student started getting bullied by every girl in school," Ishida stated.

This was going to get the highest ratings ever. Ishida was already planning the costumes for the next episode.


End file.
